I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
