is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
