I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
