I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
