They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
