Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
