She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
