we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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