he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
