we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How's work?
Spinning.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
