he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
