How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
