My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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