I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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