I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
