i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
