You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
