I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
