Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
