What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
