hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
