I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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