best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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