I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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