who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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