What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
