I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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