We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
