Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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