TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
