mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
