Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You can't special order awesome
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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