so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
