I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize