worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It was like giving head to a cactus.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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