So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
