Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
