As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
