i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
