I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
