just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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