Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
