Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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