careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
