Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Two words: blizzard sex
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
