I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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