I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
