That's when you crack a 10am beer
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the day after is always just damage control
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
