We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
