apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
