i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
